TV Guide: Part 2

The continuing TV guide!

CBS
Sex, violence, swearing: No. Although, with heavy involvement from Jerry Bruckheimer, many of the primetime drama have slow-motion, scantily-clad gun-fights and punch-ups.
Past programmes: Some of the biggest old shows: Dallas, The Incredible Hulk, Magnum P.I., T.J. Hooker, Hawaii Five-O, Mission Impossible, Walker Texas Ranger, Rod Sirling's classic The Twilight Zone, Lost in Space, The Jeffersons, M*A*S*H*, and lunch-time favourite Diagnosis Murder. More recently they had success with James Woods' legal drama Shark, and surprisingly watchable crime drama Numbers.
On the air: CBS is the network that spawned CSI and all it's spinoffs. It also has CSI-alikes Cold Case and NCIS, Criminal Minds, and supernatural dramas Ghost Whisperer and Medium (which it imported from NBC). There's acclaimed drama The Good Wife, for which Julianna Marguiles won a Golden Globe. Comedy-wise there's the geeky The Big Bang Theory, the inexplicably popular Charlie Sheen vehicle Two and a Half Men, although there's better fun to be had with both How I Met Your Mother (with Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, and Jason Segel) and The New Adventures of Old Christine (starring Julia Louis Dreyfus)
Upcoming: Another Bruckheimer-produced drama, which is imaginatively titled Miami Medical. Bizarrely it stars Jeremy Northam. Early word is not good.
Must see TV?: Well, CSI used to be groundbreaking television. Now, it's actually amazing that they have three of them going and that they're all so average. Well, apart from CSI Miami, which is hilariously awful. Medium is occasionally excellent, and How I Met Your Mother is a lot of fun. You could do worse.


HBO
Sex, violence, swearing?: What, on HBO?
Past programmes: HBO got its start with shows like Tales From the Crypt and Mr Show, as well as airing stand up comedy specials. The network made a big impact with prison drama Oz and The Wire's precursor The Corner, but really found its feet with The Sopranos and Sex in the City. The Wire and Six Feet Under soon followed, bringing a huge amount of acclaim. They stretched their wings a little with period shows like Daniel Knaufe's Carnivàle and David Milch's Deadwood, which lasted two and three seasons respectively. Rome was briefly entertaining but lost its way, and Milch's John From Cincinatti sadly disappeared up its own arse after a few impressive episodes, and was cancelled after one series. They've had big successes with combat drama mini-series, with Band of Brothers and Generation Kill. They also aired Extras, and took our favourite New Zealand folk parody duo Flight of the Conchords into the mainstream.
On air: A lot of shows. Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm and Entourage are still going, as are dramas like Mormon drama Big Love and Gabriel Byrne-starring In Treatment. Everyone's favourite guilty pleasure True Blood is returning for a third series, and Thomas Jane's gigolo dramedy Hung secured a second season. We're very excited about second seasons for Danny McBride and Jody Hill's Eastbound and Down, and Jason Schwartzman/Ted Danson/Zach Galifianakis noir-comedy Bored to Death. They're also currently showing Band of Brothers follow-up The Pacific.
Upcoming: Two very big, star-studded series in the shape of Martin Scorsese-produced period gangster drama Boardwalk Empire, and David Simon's post-Katrina look at music in New Orleans Treme. Also on the way is Game of Thrones, a fantasy drama with Sean Bean and Lena Headey, and Stitch and Bitch, a comedy created by Juno herself: Ellen Page.
Must see TV?: Yes! HBO box-sets have been occupying our Christmas and birthday wish-lists for years. Their stunning programming at the start of the last decade is perhaps the biggest reason why TV has evolved.




NBC
Sex, violence, swearing?: No, no.
Past programmes: NBC is another one of the big broadcasting companies. They gave us Bonanza, Columbo, The A-Team, The Bionic Woman, Dragnet, Wings, Miami Vice, , ER, Homicide: Life on the Street, Knight Rider, LA Law, Quantum Leap, Quincy M.E., St. Elsewhere, the original V, The West Wing, 3rd Rock From the Sun, Cheers, The Cosby Show, Diff'rent Strokes, The Facts of Life, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Friends, Frasier, My Name is Earl, NewsRadio, Sanford and Son, Scrubs, Seinfeld, Taxi, and Star Trek. On the down-side, they cancelled shows like Southland, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Freaks and Geeks, Kings, Kidnapped, Journeyman, The Book of Daniel, Life, and My Own Worst Enemy (justifiable).
On air: A lot of good stuff. Somehow, Law and Order and its spinoffs are still going, as is Heroes (although that surely must be ending soon). Football drama Friday Night Lights and nerdy action sci-fi Chuck get rave reviews, if not necessarily massive viewing figures, but are definitely worth watching. New series include the star-studded Parenthood remake (Peter Krause, Craig T. Nelson, Lauren Graham), and medical drama Mercy. But NBC's best shows are its comedies. Saturday Night Live, Tina Fey's 30 Rock, The Office (which I actually think is funnier than the British version), Office-spinoff Parks and Recreation, and the hysterically funny Community.
Upcoming: Sci-fi Day One, Persons Unknown (about which little is known), and a new sitcom called 100 Questions. 30 Rock and Community have been confirmed for another season.
Must see TV?: Yes. While SNL is hit-and-miss, 30 Rock is still worth watching despite a slip in quality, and Community is just wonderful. Chuck and Friday Night Lights are up there with the best network dramas.

Well, this concludes part 2! Look out for part 3, which will include Showtime and TNT.

Ramblings and Retrospectives: Another Top 5 Openings

Well, Ben suggested I give my top 5 openings in order to try and generate some interesting discussion. It did get me thinking. What makes a great opening? For my money, a great opening should set the tone for what's going to follow. If you make the opening the best thing about the film/record, what follows is going to be a let-down. The opening should grab our attention and let us know what we're in for. With that in mind, here are my Top 5 Openings.
I should also warn you that I'll change my mind about these as soon as I publish this post. So be prepared for a few openings more in the near future

1. Snot Boogie, The Wire

David Simon and Ed Burns' masterpiece has too many memorable scenes to include on this list, but this opening scene is a classic. It introduces us to our "hero" Jimmy McNulty (the fantastic Dominic West), and shows us the pointlesness and tragedy of gun violence. It also balances tragedy with a dark sense of humour, one of the key traits of the show.

2. As I Sat Sadly By Her Side, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, No More Shall We Part (2001)

Choosing a favourite Nick Cave opener was a tricky one. After all, we've got The Mercy Seat, Dig Lazarus Dig, and Papa Won't Leave You Henry (the latter nearly beat the song I chose). But for my money, As I Sat Sadly sets the tone perfectly for the Nick's melancholy masterpiece. The Mercy Seat is clearly the stand-out of the album Tender Prey, the only song that comes close to matching it is Deanna. On another day I would have chosen Papa Won't Leave You, but there we go. On this Thursday afternoon I'm going for melancholia over fury!

3. Blink, Doctor Who (2007)

Blink regularly features in lists of the best Doctor Who episodes, and with good reason. Namely, that it's damn scary. The weeping angel statues and Stephen Moffat's ingeniuous (although plot hole-ridden) script create a taught, nerve-racking episodes. This opening shows Carey Mulligan's plucky Sally Sparrow uncovering a message written on the wall of an abandoned house telling her to duck. Seriously duck. Why the hell doesn't she duck!

4. Halloween, dir. John Carpenter (1978)

Yes indeed, the granddaddy of all slasher films also has the best opening sequence. John Carpenter's creepy synth music and the wonderful first person viewpoint lead to one of the most surprising revelations of the film. The opening perfectly sets up Michael Myers as the boogeyman himself, even without the aid of Donald Pleasance's Sam Loomis. And there's almost no blood.

5. The State I Am In, Belle and Sebastian, Tigermilk (1996)

I'm more than willing to admit that my Belle and Sebastian fixation is a little unhealthy, but the fact is that they're one of my top five bands. Yep. There it is. Anyway, this first track on their first album sets out their stall: it's sad, funny, and dream-like, matching lyrics like "So I gave myself to God/There was a pregnant pause before he said OK", and "I kicked the crutches from my crippled friend". Back when Stuart Murdoch still wrote all the songs, before Stuart David went off to Looper and his novels, and Isobel Campbell went solo, Tigermilk is arguably their best album, with an emotional honesty ("Oh love of mine/would you condescend to help me/cause I'm stupid and blind") that was sorely lacking from their last album The Life Pursuit. I should also mention that I came very close to replacing this track with The Stars of Track and Field from their equally superb second album If You're Feeling Sinister. Maybe next time.